December 2, 2010
Being sick is no fun. No shocker there. The last couple of days I’ve been bombarded by flu symptoms (thanks to the flu shot which never fails to make me sick). I was able to rest (luckily it wasn’t too hot and I recently bought a fan), but what was most clear to me, was missing the comforts of home. And not even what you might think (toilet, tv, couch, drugstore, etc). As I regained my appetite, I missed being able to ask someone to go get me some french fries or any of the other foods I was craving (including oddly enough, pepperoni pizza yesterday - and yes, I am still vegetarian). It also hit me, that even if I didn’t have delivery service, at home I would at least have SOMETHING in the cupboard. Here, not so much. With no refrigeration you eat day to day. There’s no such thing as buying in bulk, and no pre-packaged foods (I would have killed for some Kraft Macaroni and Cheese).
I was lucky to have friends that I could ask to bring me something to eat (even if it wasn’t what I was craving), but still, I think I’ll hold off on being sick for the next couple of years.
December 3, 2010
OK, this observation is much broader than Niger, but something I’m feeling acutely here none the less. Have you ever noticed the striking commonalities between cats and children? At one moment they can be adorable and loving and in the blink of an eye they become beasts.
This week I brought home the hostel cat. Santi is a truly wonderful cat, who talks frequently and loves to cuddle. I thought we would be a great match. That first afternoon in Ville we talked and napped and had a great time. However, when I went out to run an errand, he took that as his opportunity to explore. Throughout the evening I called and called for his return (like I needed something else to make my neighbors think I was crazy), and finally, I saw his two white legs in the darkness. Santi had returned. Little did I know it was only to eat. That night, less than 12 hours after his arrival, Santi deserted me. I haven’t seen him since. What I have seen however, are several lizards poking at my garden, and last night, a mouse. He was supposed to be in charge of preventing/eliminating such visitors.
Everyone in Niger told me that adult male cats run away (when they haven‘t been fixed), but I guess I never really believed them, plus Santi had been at the hostel for a while without running away. Pretty much all I can say is - woe is me. Well that and I wish that Pacaya Jones was in Niger with me (FYI-she is very happily in Tacoma, WA).
Now on to children. Oy. So cute, so sweet, so endearing - and then BAM! Absolute monsters. How does that happen? I know that there is no mal-intent, but how do they believe that bad behavior will get me to give them everything they want, including my attention?
Each day, I come into contact with 20-30 neighborhood kids - my “regulars”. I adore them all, but I tell you, some of them can get obnoxious pretty quickly. At one moment we’re playing and laughing and at the next they’re throwing rocks at my door. What is that about? Do they honestly think that their behavior will lead to me opening said door to play with them? I think not! Keep in mind, this is just one example of this behavior. It’s a daily occurrence!
What to do, what do to? If you have any suggestions for either of these situations, please feel free to share them with me!
December 5, 2010
So I’ve been in a little rut lately increasingly frustrated with the objectification of well, me. I guess I miss being an actual person with thoughts and feelings - or at least being recognized as such. Women and children just stare at me (seriously, they knock on my door so that I will open it and they can stare at me) and men want to marry me for the mere fact that I am American and they think all Americans are extravagantly wealthy. Can’t someone just want me around because of who I am, not what I am?
December 6, 2010
The Sweetest Gift
Upon working at the hospital this morning I was exhausted and slightly downtrodden, plus - the tofu girl wasn’t where she usually was. I walked about wondering what I could eat when I noticed a boy waiting at the tree outside my door. This is not unusual, people wait to see me come home more often than I’d like. But this boy approached me and held out a small plastic bag and muttered something I couldn’t really understand. I was apprehensive, but I thought he said something about my friend Hamza, so I cautiously peeked in the bag. I let out a shocked-yelp as I saw the biggest blue-eyes on the tiniest little fluff ball of a kitten looking back up at me.
How am I ever supposed to leave the house now!!!! My new buddy (and hopefully killer of mice, lizards, etc). Now we just need to discover his name….
December 7, 2010
Happy New Year! Today is the first day of the Islamic year. I was walking around town today and noticed that almost all of the children were carrying around what looked like little magazines. As I sat and talked to my friends some kids came up with the magazines. It turns out they were Christian proselytizing materials from Nigeria (although they were in French which was slightly confusing since Nigeria is an English speaking country). There was one for younger children and then one each for older girls and older boys. Illiteracy is a huge problem here. The vast majority of recipients (and their parents) won’t understand anything but the pictures. I wonder how many children could have actually learned how to read with the money and effort that was put in to creating and distributing those materials. Perhaps there are other ways to “save” people.
December 8, 2010
Random Thoughts:
1. In a country where people die of very basic illnesses, why is every man I know here popping “enhancement” drugs like candy? I wish there was more focus on quality of health rather than quantity of children.
2. One of my neighbors is a little person. She is 17 years old, but I’ve noticed that she hangs out with kids her own size, rather than her own age. I find myself wondering if this is by choice or a societal decision. Sadly, she doesn’t go to school. I don’t know why this is, and when I ask she blushes, looks down and doesn’t answer.
December 9, 2010
I must admit, I’m really struggling today. Some days the poverty around me is much more dire and apparent than other days. Today is one of those days. The death, illness, malnutrition, lack of medical care, lack of housing, lack of education and illiteracy, lack of opportunity - it’s everywhere.
I’ve noticed that my neighbors haven’t been eating much lately; today I found out it was because they chose to pay for the medicine their daughter needed (who has since passed away) over buying food for the family. Now, another child in the family is sick and they can’t afford the 7 mille CFA (about $14) for the medicine. They probably wiped out what little savings they had with the last batch of medicine.
I am surrounded by, and immersed in poverty every minute of every day, but at the same time I know that the poverty I’m seeing, while some of the worst in the world, is a fraction of a percent of the poverty globally. I feel so helpless at times (including now).
I’m really struggling with how to resolve my life in America and my life and experiences here. Heck, I’m struggling to resolve my life HERE with the lives of those around me. I have so much semi-latent guilt. There’s so much I miss about my life in America - but I feel guilty about wanting to go out to dinner or buy a book. Everything in America just seems like a luxury. Why do I deserve those things, those daily activities, that we consider normal, when poverty is so pervasive. The money spent on those activities could save a life, if not improve one greatly. And those are just the basics, don’t even get me started on cruises. Is it wrong that I still want to go them? That I think about them almost daily even while surrounded by the poverty in Niger? What right do I have to escape when others do not.
I know that these observations and emotions are not new, but how do I go about finding a balance? Creating just justifications? Honestly, I can’t even begin to put it all into words. It’s killing me inside.
December 11, 2010
Dear UNICEF,
Thank you for your generous gift of Plumpy Nut nutrition supplement to the malnourished children of the world. Just one little thing - could you please start a campaign in Niger (and most likely everywhere else) informing people that Plumpy Nut is not supposed to be sold on the open market and that every packet of Plumpy they buy is literally taking it out of the hands of a malnourished child. A child who will remain malnourished because his/her parents decided it was more important to the family to use the Plumpy as a source of income, rather than feeding their child. Thanks so much!
Sincerely,
Alynn
In all seriousness, the amount of Plumpy Nut that is available on the open market is astounding to me. The only way for individuals to get Plumpy is to steal is from a medical facility or malnourished child. It kills me when every week I see children so tiny and know, that even though safeguards are in place, their parents are selling the Plumpy Nut rather than feeding them. It is equally infuriating when I have hospital staff ask me for Plumpy and co-workers and friends offer me some and tell me how delicious it is. Do people not understand the ramifications of Plumpy Nut being sold or do they just not care? I wish I had the language skills to have a meaningful conversation about it here.
